Philosophy

Parenting for global change through love, compassion and acceptance.

Thank you so much for being here. 

How we raise our children has a huge 

impact on the world. I am so grateful

for the work you are doing to change

how it is for future generations. 

 

WHAT'S YOUR PARENTING STYLE?

I remember when someone asked me this question. My second child was nearly one. Style? I thought. I don’t know. Is there one called ‘Winging’ it! 

 

I had read books on sleep and routines (which never worked for me) and I had begun my training in CranioSacral Therapy (CST), which started to broaden my understanding of the human body, psyche, emotions, trauma and inner work, but parenting style? I had never really thought about it. I did know that the usual ways of ‘dealing’ with behaviour were not working for us.  Time outs, punishments and the usual ‘traditional’ ways of power-over were not working and didn’t feel great. 

 

This started a deep dive and further study into various parenting philosophies and approaches. Five years later I am a certified Hand in Hand Instructor, Aware Parenting Instructor, Marte Meo Practitioner, and Marion Method Mentor but my biggest teachers by a LONG WAY are my three children.

 

Most of us parent the way we were parented, (and I am not saying that our parents did anything wrong, most of us have wonderful, loving parents) however, the world is a very different place to the way it was only one generation ago. We know more about the human brain and body, we know more about what children (and all humans) need to thrive. We know more about attachment and trauma and how our childhoods can impact us for the rest of our lives. Our parenting is important. It can change the shape of future generations.

We now know that parenting from a place of fear and using power over our children, threats, punishments, timeouts, harshness and even rewards don’t work and often make situations worse.

I’m here to share practical advice to use in your family to confidently tackle parenting challenges, solve problems and build a stronger connection with your child or children. 

Foundational Philosophy

1. AWARENESS:

 

When we bring a more whole and integrated adult to the relationship we are giving our children the greatest gift. Doing our own inner work and healing is always the first place to start. Re-patterning our responses to ourselves, alongside raising our children, is ‘the work’.  

 

 

 

 

2. CONNECTION:

 

Connection is the foundation to all relationships. Firstly connection to our inner 'Self', our patterns and hurts, but also our joy, wishes and desires. Then our connection with our children. When we focus on the relationship we no longer need to resort to punishments, rewards and power-over our children.

3. TRUST:

 

Trusting our own instincts and wisdom as a parent. Following what feels right in your heart for your family. Trusting our children. Really deeply trusting their timing, their passions, their callings, their interests. Trusting that they know what they need to heal, grow and thrive. 

 

 

 

4. LOVE:

 

 Every child needs to feel heard, seen, understood, validated and loved for who they are. Being held in the safety of a loving caregiver is paramount for every human. Deeply listening to ourselves and our children. All feelings are welcome, all parts are loved. Empathy, kindness, compassion, nurturing, respect and belonging are all vital for ourselves as parents and also our children. 

5.  WILL:

 

Our will is our autonomy and authenticity.  Expressing our own unique selves in the world and being able to follow our passions and purpose. Staying as close to our true 'Self' as possible. Honoring our children’s Yes’s and No’s and their expression of who they are. 

 

 

 

6. PLAY:

 

Our children need play.  It is their natural way of being, their first language. Allowing self discovery through play. Finding the play in everyday parenting.  Reclaiming our own playfulness first and responding playfully to our children. Bringing more joy, laughter and connection into everyday interactions. 

I can help you with:

  • Understanding behaviour

  • Another view on sleep

  • Toileting

  • Emotional Understanding

  • Highly Sensitive Children

  • Fears and Anxieties

  • Sibling relationships 

  • General household harmony 

  • Finding your joy in parenting

I believe our parenting has the capacity to change the world. The way we treat and respond to our children shapes our future as a species.  We have reached a tipping point in humanity, a time of great change. The paradigm we parent from is shifting and I am grateful to be a part of this shift away from fear and 'power over' to one of connection and 'power-with' our children.

 

I am here to support you in your journey. To walk alongside you while we grow and learn. 

 

I offer self paced online courses, in-person workshops and 1:1 mentoring. 

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© 2021 Shelley Clarke

I acknowledge the Kaurna people on whose traditional land I live and work, and pay respect to Elders past and present. I recognise and respect their cultural heritage, beliefs and relationship with the land. I acknowledge that they are of continuing importance to the Kaurna people living today.